I’d like to preface this post with this following statement:
I know I am not old, I know there is still plenty of time left, and I know that I am not the only one in this boat.
That being said, I feel like I’m an old maid who is running out of time and everyone else is married and having kids. I feel like I am going to end up alone or will have to settle for someone I only have mediocre feelings for in order to not end up alone.
My favorite number is 15, so naturally I feel like 2015 is going to be my year. It’s going to be the year filled with good things and the year that my life will change for the happily ever after. I finally feel like things are starting to align in my life; I have a great new job that I enjoy, I’m getting more financially stable, I’ve made new friends and gotten involved in the community, and I’m finally just feeling like maybe life is going upwards. The only thing I feel like I’m truly missing is a significant other.
I 100%… well, maybe 96%… believe that God has a plan and that all of this is just part of His great path for me. I believe that the bad things in my life had to be corrected before I could be in a place where I’m ready for a real, adult relationship. So, despite the fact that I haven’t dated anyone in longer than I’m willing to admit, I feel very at peace with this because I now see that the bad things have had to go away. I also believe that Heaven helps those who help themselves, so I have started taking a proactive approach to dating.
Online dating is the worst.
I have done pay sites and the second my credit card has cleared I immediately am filled with a sense of dread and sickness – literally my stomach hurts from this – because I just hate the idea of online dating. I did it before when I was younger (mid-20s) and found it to be just fine. I talked to a few guys and it was cool. Now… I don’t know if maybe the area I’m looking in is just filled with the bottom of the barrel or if maybe this is all that is left for a woman in her early 30s.
I’m sorry. I just can’t swoon over a man whose profile picture is of him wearing a trucker hat posing next to his pickup truck with a dead deer in the bed. I just can’t. (Note: I come from a hunting family and have no qualms about hunting whatsoever nor do I mind a man who hunts; I just loathe trucker hats)
But this seems to be all there is. That and men who look like they haven’t showered in 6 days and are asking me “Can I be your sugar daddy?” No, sir, you can’t. You look like a hobo.
Maybe I’m just really picky about men. Maybe I have this idealized version of what I want and will accept nothing less. A good friend of mine is doing the online dating thing too, but her dating stories from there terrify me. She, along with some others I’ve talked to about online dating, has advised me to not have so many “requirements” in a man and be more open. I think this is a good attitude to have, obviously, but for me the most I can be is open to dating someone who graduated from Auburn University.
Which makes me wonder is it wrong to have “requirements?” Here are mine:
- Has at least a Bachelor’s Degree
- Is not an asshat
Like really, is this too much to ask of a man? I mean, of course I have more specific requirements. I want someone who has a good relationship with his family, someone who has a steady job, someone who enjoys Game of Thrones and isn’t going to get irritated during Downton Abbey seasons. Again, I don’t think this is too much to want.
But is my only option for finding someone now to search online and weed through the disgustingness? Am I stuck with only getting to choose from men who say things like “Hey I just woke up with a boner. Why don’t you come take care of it?” or “Can I be your sex slave?” or “You’re insanely beautiful and I want to get to know you please talk to me I need you oh baby oh baby?” Like is this it?!
I was talking to another good friend about my dating woes yesterday and she sent me this little picture.
I don’t know if she somehow knew the underlying reason behind my woes and her sending this was God telling her I needed to see it, but this picture hit majorly home for me. I’m having a hard time giving up my dream bear, despite knowing God has a better, giant blue teddy bear waiting for me.
There’s not really any conclusion to this post but I’ll admit writing out all my feelings has caused me to tear up and become on the verge of tears. Good job there Candice. But I know I’m not the only one in this boat. I know I’m not the only one who is frustrated by modern dating and how disgusting it’s become. I know there is someone out there for all of us and I know he or she will come when it is most right, but in the meantime it super duper SUCKS to have to go through this.
And if you’re going through this like I am, we should totally grab a virtual cup of coffee and chat about online dating horror stories. Despite how terrible they are at the time, they are super entertaining to tell others! 🙂