The other night I was thinking about some things and my thoughts led to blogging. Let’s be honest… this blog is a ghost town. I feel like it’s started to become the Gretchen Weiner of blogs and I really should just stop trying to make it work.
But for some reason I just can’t let go. While I don’t ever feel the need anymore to blog all the time, I feel like I can’t just say “Okay, I’m done.” As you may know, a while back I said I was going to stop this blog altogether in November. And a couple months ago when I made that decision it felt right. It felt like I have lots of time left to wrap this thing up. Now though… it feels like that end date is coming up super quick and I don’t know if I’m quite ready to say goodbye.
However, I don’t want to let go! Ugh, so many feelings…
It also is not helping that just about every day I get 1-2 new people following my blog. I want to tell them NO! DON’T FOLLOW ME! You’ll just be disappointed in me.
And holy heck I feel like that statement was an epiphany… Maybe what I’m feeling is fear of disappointing people. No, I don’t think that may people are paying attention to me and my blog right now, but there are some who still are.
Part of me wants to throw myself into my blog, write all the reviews and posts and discussions, comment on friends’ blogs, chat with them on Twitter, do all the things I used to do and love. Like I MISS it! But another part of me feels like I should just throw in the towel and move on. Because I feel like if I do that then I’ll get into it again and then won’t “stop” this blog in November like I’d planned and then will just have to deal with fizzling out later. Which I don’t want to happen.
I know I should take this one day at a time, constantly evaluate how I feel about the blog, maybe make a pro/con list… but all I want to do these days is watch Doctor Who on Netflix and not read. Maybe I could blog about that?!
Honestly, I don’t know why I’m writing this post other than to just get these feelings (ugh) out. I talk too much and need to do something, but feel like this space is a safe zone where I can share my thoughts.
We’ll see what happens…