Selective Collective, Young Adult

Selective Collective: My F-It List


This month The Selective Collective read The F-It List by Julie Halpern.

Alex’s father recently died in a car accident. And on the night of his funeral, her best friend Becca slept with Alex’s boyfriend. So things aren’t great. Alex steps away from her friendship with Becca and focuses on her family.

But when Alex finally decides to forgive Becca, she finds out something that will change her world again–Becca has cancer.

So what do you do when your best friend has cancer? You help her shave her head. And then you take her bucket list and try to fulfill it on her behalf. Because if that’s all you can do to help your ailing friend–you do list


Alright everyone, gather around… it’s story time!

Once upon a time when I was fourteen I wrote a letter to my sixteen year old self. I talked about the things I had hoped to do and who I would be by the time I was sixteen. Things like “kiss a boy” and “have a boyfriend” and “stop being so terrified to talk to boys they’re just human beings with <giggles> penises <giggles>.”

I folded the letter up and taped it to the bottom of my sock/underwear drawer. Every day I saw it and anticipated opening it on my 16th birthday.

Cut to 2 years later

Days before my 16th birthday I began getting excited over opening my letter to myself. Had I accomplished all the things my fourteen year old self had wanted me to do? Would I be disappointed or see how I had changed? The anticipation was killing me! I, of course, told all my friends how excited I was.

Sixteenth birthday came and it was great. I got my driver’s license, had a fun family party, got to skip school. And then came the moment I was waiting for: opening my letter. I ripped it out of the tape and opened it, nearly bouncing on my bed with excitement. What did I say to myself back then? Had my handwriting changed? Would I laugh at how silly and naive I was at fourteen? My fingers trembled as I unfolded the paper, excitement overwhelming with expectation to see…

a homework to do list?

Apparently fourteen year old Candice was just as absent minded as thirty year old Candice.

But that brings me to my freebie post today. In The F-It List, Becca has a bucket list of all the things she wants to do before she dies. Which, for a young person that does sound kind of morbid, but I think even young people want to make goals and lists of things they hope to accomplish. Granted, as we get older we realize that some of those things can cause major eye rolling, but at the time when we wrote it, they were HUGE. I absolutely LOVED this about the book and seeing how Becca’s list clearly evolved as she aged.

I think we all have bucket lists of our own, whether formal and written down or just floating in the back of our mind. I like to think that the things on it are things that can actually be done if you just put your mind to it. But what I loved about having a Fuck It list is that it’s kind of like “fuck it, I want to do these things whether they’re possible or not.”

I’d like to share my own Fuck It list with you:

  1. Have brunch with Neil Patrick Harris and discuss his upcoming Halloween costumes for his family
  2. Write a novel and self-publish it so all of you can read it
  3. Live in a small town in Ireland
  4. Take a road trip across the country
  5. Play Quidditch
  6. Go “off the grid” for a week
  7. Meet all my Selective Collective gals 🙂
  8. Get a bikini wax
  9. Make love on a balcony at a hotel on a tropical island
  10. Find true, Disney-like all the feels love

Check out the other members of the Selective Collective and see what fun things they have going on!

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10 thoughts on “Selective Collective: My F-It List”

  1. Omg, I love your list. NPH!!! How AWESOME would that be!?! Make sure to take pictures!!
    I would LOVE to read your novel! And cross country road trip… Dying to do that too!
    I’ll be on your Quidditch team 🙂


    1. Seriously, NPH is like my dream celeb to meet. I’ve never had one before him! And maybe you can read my novel while we’re on a cross country road trip to play Quidditch! 🙂


  2. Aww this was so fun to read! Some of those things are TOTALLY possible! If you ever get to dine with NPH, you better fill us all in because that family is THE BEST when it comes to Halloween costumes.


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